翻译:康静超 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
各位观众 这是安伯 快出来吧安伯 Here's Amber, everybody, Amber, come on out.
拉里? Larry?
稍微挪一下? Just move a little bit?
我告诉过你 等我回来的时候要准备好 I asked you to be ready when I got back.
从我早上走了到现在 你动过吗? Have you even moved since I left this morning?
动过啊 当然了 你在说什么呢? Yes, of course, what are you talking about?
我早上起来给了服务员小费 I got up to tip room service.
别啊 刚那句多好笑啊 Come on, that's funny.
不 并不好笑 No, it's not funny.
一周以前可能还好笑 但现在我受够了 It might have been funny a week ago, but enough is enough.
我每次走进来 你都在那坐着 Every time I walk in, you're just sitting here...
边吃着你薯片 饼干 边看这个... with your chips and your cookies and watching...
莫瑞秀 Maury.
你知道吗 听着... You know, listen...
我们过会儿必须见见那个女人 we've got to meet that woman in a few minutes.
所以 你需要穿好衣服 我们才能去看房子 So, you need to get dressed so we can go look at that house.
先让我看完 Let me just finish.
不行 你现在就得穿好衣服 No, you need to get dressed now.
不行 因为他们就要去新兵训练营了... No, because they're gonna go to boot camp...
并且 我想看看哪些人改过自新了 and I want to see which ones get rehabilitated.
-请你起来吧 -他们被击溃 然后大哭 - Please get up. - They break them down and they cry.
后来 他们结束新兵训练后... And then when they're done with the boot camp...
他们都变的更好了 they're all better.
你是刚退休了 Have you just retired...
余生就打算这么过... and this is what you'll do for the rest of your life...
然后再也不打算去工作了吗？ and you're never going to work again?
我当然会去工作! Of course l'm gonna work again!
-什么时候? -我不知道! - When? - I don't know!
你现在可是当打之年啊! You're in the prime of your life!
碰到心仪的工作时 我就去工作了 I'm gonna work when something comes up that I want to do.
我真的想让你赶紧换衣服 我们就能去看房子了 I would really like for you to get dressed so we can go look at this house.
-好吧 -好 谢谢 - Fine. - Fine, thank you.
好了 有请布列塔妮 上来吧布列塔妮 All right, here's Brittany, Brittany, come on out.
你看刚上来这姑娘 看 Look at that girl come out, look.
"你们不了解我! 耶 你们都去死吧! "You don't know me! Yeah, you all go fuck yourself!
"没错 耶 来啊! "That's right, yeah, come on!
"来啊 来啊 你们去死吧! "Come on, yeah, come on, yeah, fuck you!
"不 去死吧你" "No, fuck you!"
好大啊 It's big.
-真是挺大 我觉得有点儿过大了 -我不觉得 - It's really big. I think it's a little too big. - No.
你看这房子的大小 Look at the size of this place.
-完美 -完美? - It's perfect. - Perfect?
奥斯蒙家族(The Osmonds)：美国70年代家庭音乐组合，共兄妹七人
这房子像是给奥斯蒙家族准备的 This is like for the Osmonds, this place.
我不知道为什么要把咱的老房子卖了 I didn't know why we had to sell the old place.
-只是因为电线有问题? -那快把我逼疯了 - Just 'cause of the wire? - It was making me crazy.
那可不算搬家的理由 That's not a reason to move.
如果无法摆脱那些问题 这就算搬家的理由了 That is a reason to move, when you can't get rid of it.
那个房地产经纪人来了 There's the real estate agent.
我不知道咱们为什么要搬出酒店 我爱那个酒店 I don't know why we had to leave the hotel. I love the hotel.
我不能再住那儿了 那不是个房子 I cannot live there any longer. It's not a house.
你能享受客房服务 还有叫醒服务 You get the room service, the wake-up calls.
你什么时候用过叫醒服务?你都不出门 When do you use the wake-up calls? You never leave.
-白天打个盹儿能用到呀 -我的天 - Naps. - My God.
-您好 -嗨 - Hello. - Hi.
您好 这房子漂亮吧? Hello, isn't this beautiful?
-是啊 我们只是... -真是太大了 - Yes, we were just... - lt's awfully big.
太激动了 你一定会爱上它的 It's very exciting, you're gonna love it.
-还有个独家消息 -您说 - So, here's the scoop. - Okay.
主人卖房的意愿很强烈哦 我觉得这笔交易板上钉钉 They are highly motivated sellers. I think this one's a slam-dunk.
如果你们喜欢 我们就回去给个报价 If you like it, we'll go back and write an offer.
我问过他们可否现金支付 他们完全没有意见 And I asked them about the cash. They were totally open to a cash offer.
那是最好不过了 So, that is the absolute best.
-是吗 -是啊 - Yeah? - Yeah.
你们也许几天后就能搬进来了 You could maybe be in here in days.
什么？就几天? What, days?
他们又买了一所房子 早准备搬走了 They bought another house. So they are so ready to move.
-你好 嗨 苏珊 -嗨 你好吗? - Hello, hi, Susan. - Hi, how are you?
-不错 你呢? -芭芭拉施耐德 谢丽儿和拉里大卫 - Good, how are you? - Barbara Schneider, Cheryl and Larry David.
嗨 很高兴见到你 Hi. Nice to meet you.
-嗨 拉里 -嗨 - Hi, Larry. - Hi.
我的天 那是海吗? My gosh, is that the ocean?
你两天就会习惯了 You get used to that in two days.
-快进来吧 -我不信 -不 真的 - Come on in. -I doubt it - No, really.
-真美啊 -对啊 很不错 你看这儿 - This is gorgeous. - Yeah, it's very nice. Look at this.
我们有拱形屋顶 We have vaulted ceilings.
-空间很大呢 -真漂亮 - Very spacious. - Beautiful.
还有这家具 真棒啊 不是吗? What about this furniture, it's fantastic, isn't it?
对啊 跟着个屋子太搭配了 Yeah, it fits perfectly in this room.
漂亮 多漂亮的房子 Beautiful. Beautiful house.
-太漂亮了 -谢谢 这儿景色棒极了 - Really beautiful. - Thank you, and this is our amazing view.
每天清晨用早餐 赏日出 Breakfast every morning, sunrise.
我爱大海 I love the sea.
我父亲曾是意大利的渔民 My father was an ltalian fisherman.
-真的? -对啊 在故乡时候 - Really? - Yeah, from the old country.
今天早上 听着你肯定喜欢 我看到一只鲸鱼跃出海面 This morning, you'll love this: I saw a whale breach.
我之前从没有见过 很罕见的 I've never seen that here before, it's very rare.
你可以在阳台那儿射到鲸鱼吗? Can you shoot the whales from the terrace?
-什么? -因为我早餐想吃点儿鲸鱼脂 - What? - 'Cause I like to have blubber for breakfast.
-别搭理他 -不行 得搭理我 - Don't pay attention to him. - No, pay attention.
-好吧 -这就是那两个笨蛋吧? - Okay. - Are these the new suckers?
拉里大卫 我是杰伊施耐德 Larry David, Jay Schneider.
你在做《宋飞正传》的时候我经常联系你 I'd call you when you were at Seinfeld.
我当时在威廉莫里斯经纪公司 I was working at the William Morris Agency.
我当时给他打电话推销我的客户 I would call him up and pitch my clients.
你好吗?我是杰伊施耐德 How you doing? Jay Schneider.
嗨 我是谢丽儿 Hi, l'm Cheryl.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
你可能不信 我刚签下杰森亚历山大 You won't believe this, l just signed Jason Alexander.
-开玩笑吧 真的? -我们已经合作两个月了 - You're kidding, really? - We're two months into it.
他非常棒 我是个幸运的人呀 He's phenomenal, l'm a lucky guy.
-他是个出色的演员 -难以置信 - A tremendous actor. - Unbelievable.
没错 他最近怎么样? Yeah, how's he doing?
老实说 他现在算是挺艰难的 Honestly, he's kind of struggling right now.
-真的? -大家只想要乔治科斯坦萨这个角色 - Is that right? - Everybody wants George Costanza.
你知道吗 他一点儿也不符合乔治的人物设定 You know what, he's nothing like George.
他一点儿也不符合... He's nothing at all like...
他跟这角色恰恰相反 因为杰森头脑聪明... He's the antithesis, 'cause Jason is brilliant...
乔治却是个笨蛋 他就是个傻瓜 你知道的... and George is an idiot, just an imbecile and, you know...
这样拓展他自己的戏路很困难 lt's just tough to branch out with that.
我是指 杰森能演的角色范围其实很大 I mean, the range of characters this guy can do.
-你觉得乔治是个笨蛋? -那就是典型的陪衬角色 - You think he's an idiot? - It's the classic barnacle.
但是所有情景喜剧里都有 But every sitcom needs that.
-你最近忙什么呢? -他啥都没忙 - What have you been up to? - Nothing.
哈哈 我信了 Yeah, I bet.
你有什么想法吗?打算做点儿什么? You got any ideas? Anything coming down the pike?
我是有些想法 但是我不准备做 I've got ideas, but I choose not to carry them out.
我觉得 我们可以拉你和杰森再次合作 一起开个会吧 I say we team up you and Jason again. Let's get you guys in a meeting.
你应该给他打个电话 You should call him.
你最近不忙 一起开个会吧 You're not doing anything, let's take a meeting.
对啊 你最近也不忙 Yeah, you're not doing anything.
咱就坐下来一起讨论 就讨论一下新想法 Let's sit down and just kick around, just kick around some ideas.
-我觉得这注意不错 -不勉强哦 - I think it's a good idea. - Don't want to push.
-毛衣挺不错 -谢谢 山羊绒的 - Nice sweater. - Thank you, it's cashmere.
-真的? -非卖品哦 - Really? - It's not for sale.
那是山羊绒? That's cashmere?
-100%山羊绒 -很不错哦 - 100% . - It's nice, yeah.
-咱们去看看别的屋吧 -对啊 去看看别处 - Let's go see the rest of the place. - Yeah, let's see the rest of it.
我爱这房子 我真觉得它很完美 I love it. I really think it's perfect.
拉里 你爱这房子吗? Larry, did you love it?
-我挺喜欢的 -你觉得它完美吗? - I liked it. - You think it's perfect?
我真的挺喜欢的 是个不错的房子 它很大 但是我喜欢 I really like it, it's a nice house. It's big, but I like it.
-好的 这么说就妥了 -主卧呢? - All right, that's all I needed. - The master bedroom?
主卧 楼下 壁炉 我都喜欢 I love the master bedroom, the downstairs, the fireplace.
我问你点儿事 Let me ask you something.
我刚才跟他聊那件毛衣时 你注意到了吗... Did you notice that when I asked him about the sweater...
他说那是100%山羊绒? he said it was 100% cashmere?
那不可能是100%山羊绒 There's no way that sweater's 100% cashmere.
可能就35% 或40% 最多50% 但他说100%? It's, like, maybe 35, 40, 50 at the most, but 100?
-那不可能... -越快越好 我准备... - That can't be... - The sooner the better, l'm ready to...
等一下 你相信那家伙吗... Wait a second, do you trust this guy...
因为他聊那件山羊绒毛衣时说谎了 'cause the guy's lying about a cashmere sweater.
你心里舒服? You feel comfortable with that?
我们不是买毛衣 我们要买房子 We're not buying a sweater, we're buying a house.
好吧 听着 我们需要聊一聊出价 Okay, listen, we have to talk about how much to offer.
当然 Absolutely.
什么样的人才会... What kind of person lies...
对自己毛衣的山羊绒含量说谎? about a percentage of cashmere in his sweater?
你知道的 假山羊绒什么的... You know, fake cashmere and all...
我确实觉得让你和杰森共事的主意不错 l do think it's a good idea for you to work with Jason.
你知道的 我爱杰森 You know, I love Jason.
我只是不想重操旧业 I just don't want to go back and do TV.
-来吧 电视是很棒的媒体 -干不完的活 - Come on, TV is a great medium. - Too much work.
-活儿多?你必须工作呀 -那太烦人了 我做不了 - Too much work? You have to work. - It's a pain in the ass, I can't do it.
不 你得去工作 No, you need to work.
我结婚了 这就很多事儿了 I'm married, that's plenty of work.
好吧 但是你得开始创作了 Okay, but you need to start writing.
你知道的 是为你自己好 让你精神正常 Just, you know, I think for your own good, for your own sanity.
为什么 我没失常呀 你觉得我失常了? Why, l'm not insane. You think l'm insane?
听着 理查德刘易斯想来我这儿 Listen, Richard Lewis wants me to manage him.
-真的 -对啊 - Really. - Yeah.
但是我想听你说句老实话 But I need you to be honest with me.
-当然 -不 真的老实说 - Sure. - No, really honest with me.
-好 -他是个难伺候的人吗? - Okay. - Is he a high-maintenance guy?
-什么 你开玩笑呢? -他的举止很像那种... - What, are you kidding? - So, his act is pretty close to...
是啊 但那又怎么样呢? Yeah, but so what?
我准备签下他了 你要是觉得可以 I'm gonna sign him, you like that.
很好 Good.
难以置信 他都没跟我提过这事儿 I can't believe he didn't even mention that to me.
嘿 汤姆! Hey, Tom!
-挺好的吧 伙计? -杰夫 嗨 看见你真高兴 - How are you, man? - Jeff, hi, good to see you.
我也很高兴见到你 Good to see you, too.
汤姆克拉克 拉里大卫 Tom Clark, Larry David.
拉里大卫 很高兴见到你 Larry David, nice to meet you.
-我也是 -汤姆 坐会儿 伙计 - Nice to meet you. - Tom, sit down, man.
-我的丰田红杉是从汤姆那买的 -好莱坞的丰田店? - Tom sold me my Toyota Sequoia. - Toyota of Hollywood?
-对 好莱坞的丰田店 -你是汽车经销商? - Toyota of Hollywood, yeah. - You're a car dealer?
-对 经销商 -真的? - Dealer, yeah. - Really?
-但我也喜欢销售 -是吗? - But I like to sell, too. - Do you?
常会有很特别的人来 有大人物... Somebody special comes in, a bigwig...
-他是个大人物? -对啊 他是经纪人 - He's a bigwig? - Yeah, he manages.
那真棒 有个大人物来做我经纪人 That's good, l'm managed by a bigwig.
-你开什么车? -丰田普锐斯 - What do you drive? - I drive a Prius.
你对普锐斯还挺满意的? You're happy with the Prius?
相当满意 普锐斯对我也非常满意的 Very happy, and the Prius is extremely happy with me.
我问你个问题 Let me ask you a question.
怎样成为一名汽车销售员? How does somebody become a car salesman?
干这行需要很多经验吗? Do you have to have a lot of experience for that?
我反正是天生就适合这行 It was in my blood, yeah.
但成为一名汽车销售员的确得花几年时间 I mean, it takes years to be a car salesman.
你知道吗 我一直觉得自己可以成为一名优秀的销售员 You know, I always felt l could be a great salesman.
你得有天赋 You gotta have the gift.
因为 相信我 我能劝服任何人做任何事 'Cause believe me, l could talk anybody into anything.
除了劝女人和我上床 这事儿我做不了 Except women into sex, that's one thing I can't do.
除了这个 我知道如何操纵别人 我很擅长这个 Besides that, I know how to manipulate people, l'm very good at it.
-我想说...汽车销售员可不是唬人 -对 当然 他们不是 - Car salesmen are not bullshit. I mean... - No, of course, they're not.
说实在的 其实我们是老实人 We're an honest pack, between ourselves.
坦白地讲 我喜欢赚钱 To be honest with you, l like to make money.
但我也爱卖车 真的 But I love to sell cars, I really do.
如果我想当一天汽车销售员... If I wanted to do that for one day...
-卖车 -对的 - Sell cars. - Yeah.
就一天 Just for a day.
我不这么认为 I don't think so.
我想看看自己能不能干 我觉得自己会很擅长这行 I want to see if I can do it. I thought that I'd be great at it.
你做不了 你是个编剧 You can't do it, you're a writer.
-你是做什么工作? -你知道他是谁吗? - What do you do? - Do you know who he is?
这是拉里大卫 《宋飞正传》的主创 That's Larry David, he created Seinfeld.
好吧 Okay.
-得了 我只是想试着做一天 -我觉得那很棒啊 - Forget that, I just want to try it for a day. - I think that would be great.
到我这工作吧 Come in and work for me.
我可能会干个两三天 谁知道呢? Maybe l'll do it for two or three days. Who knows?
你这是干嘛?你在说些什么呢? What're you doing? What are you talking about?
-两三天是什么意思? -你关心个什么? - What do you mean two or three days? - What do you care?
-我关心什么? -不好意思 如果我很擅长这行呢? - What do I care? - What if l'm good at it? Excuse me.
-如果你很擅长那行? -对啊 - What if you're good at it? - Yeah.
第一天你一辆车也卖不出去的 You're not gonna sell a car the first day.
我向你保证... I guarantee you...
我会比你展厅里的其他销售员卖的多 l will sell more cars than anybody in your showroom.
第一天你卖不出去的 没人能第一天就开张 You won't sell a car the first day. Nobody does it the first day.
-好啊 行 你等着瞧吧 -我跟你说啊 过来... - You'll see, okay, fine. - I'll tell you what. Come by...
拿些宣传册 你知道我们店的位置 get some brochures, you know where we are.
我会去拿宣传册 钻研一下... I'll get the brochures, l'll study up...
我会学明白的 别担心 and l'll learn everything, don't worry about it.
-等我到那儿就都掌握了 -周一过来? - I'll have it down when I get there. - Come by on Monday?
真是太感谢了 这就像是我所幻想的 I really appreciate this, it's like a fantasy that I have.
-那太棒了 周一早上见 -没问题 太棒了 - This'll be great. Monday morning. - You got it. Great.
谢谢 Thank you.
我很兴奋啊 I'm pretty excited.
天啊 很好啊 不 没有问题 My gosh, that's wonderful. No, that is no problem.
拉里刚进来了 我等不及要告诉他了 好的 拜 Larry just walked in, I can't wait to tell him. Okay, bye.
你不会相信的 我们周一就能搬进去了 You're not gonna believe this. We can move into the house on Monday.
-真的? -没错 都妥了 - Really? - Yeah, it's all done.
这么快? So fast?
对啊 现金交易 没有第三方 Yeah, it was a cash deal, there was no escrow.
房主已经把东西都搬出去了 我们也准备好了 They've already moved their stuff out, we're ready.
所以呢 确保你周一没事儿... So, make sure that you are clear on Monday...
我很确定这对你来说不是问题 which l'm sure is not going to be a problem for you.
实际上我周一去不了 I actually can't do it on Monday.
为什么? Why?
-我找了份工作 -真的? - I got a job. - You did?
那挺好的 你给杰森打电话了? That's good, did you call Jason?
我要去卖车 I'm selling cars.
什么? What?
我今天中午跟一人吃饭 他有个丰田展厅 I was having lunch today with a guy who owns a Toyota showroom.
杰夫从他那买过车... He sold Jeff some cars and...
所以说 你要当汽车销售员了? So, now you're going to be a car salesman?
是啊 你知道吗 他说我可以试一下 Yeah, you know, he said I could try it.
-你没事儿吧? -为什么这么说?怎么了? - What is wrong with you? - Why? What?
你确定要做这个了? You've committed to this?
对啊 只做几天 Yeah. It's only for, like, a couple of days.
或者 我想做多久就做多久 我只想换个环境... Or however long I want to do it. I just want to get it out of my system...
不能周一去 You can't do it on Monday.
我必须周一去 第一天上班我得过去 I have to do it on Monday. I have to show up for my first day at work.
怎么样 我应该打电话请病假? What, am I supposed to call in sick?
不是个好主意 That's not gonna fly.
普锐斯?咱家就是这车 很容易啊 Prius? That's ours, that's easy.
"需要帮助吗?" "Can I help you?"
你怎么看? What do you think?
"打扰了 先生 您可能会对兰德酷路泽系列感兴趣 "Excuse me, sir, perhaps the Land Cruiser would interest you.
"我们有卡罗拉 坎诺拉... "And we have, Corolla, Canola...
"还有Rave"这是Rav吗? "and Rave." ls it Rav?
-这太蠢了 -这怎么蠢了? - This is so stupid. - Why is it stupid?
简直疯了 It's insane.
有些人 他们去跑马拉松 他们想看看自己行不行 Some people, they run in marathons, they want to see if they can do that.
还有些人 他们游过英吉利海峡 Others, they swim the English Channel.
我只想去汽车展厅里工作一下 All I want is work in a showroom for a while.
这有什么的?谁更疯狂呢? So, what's the big deal? Who's more insane?
周一我下班回家后... And then on Monday when I come home from work...
我会帮你挂画 或是别的需要我... l'll help with the pictures or whatever you need me...
在那边帮忙的 我回家就帮你 to help around the house with, l'll help when I come home.
不过 我可能会有点儿累 But l'll be a little tired, too, probably.
对 艾伦你猜怎么着 Yeah. Alan, guess what.
拉里大卫刚进来 Larry David just walked in.
-跟谁说话呢 -艾伦 - Who you talking to? - Alan.
-真的? -对啊 - Really? - Yeah.
-帮我打个招呼 -好 你保重哦 我晚点儿给你打 - Say hello for me. - Okay, you take care, l'll talk to you later.
伙计 你挺好的吧?能见到你太棒了 Man, how you doing? It's great to see you.
-你怎么没替我打招呼? -没机会说了 - How come you didn't say hello? - There wasn't an opening.
-伙计你看起来不错啊 -对啊 - Boy, you look great. - Yeah.
过来 坐会儿 你想喝水 咖啡 还是别的... Come on, come sit down. You want water or a coffee or...
-不 不用了 -好吧 - No, l'm good. - Okay.
-那么 拉里 -怎么? - So, L.D. - Yeah?
怎么了? What it be?
我挺高兴的 咱俩的代理人让我们聚在这儿 I like how our representatives got us together here.
对 施耐德 没错 Right, Schneider, yeah.
他们安排的 他跟你说了 我要买他的房子吗? They set us up. Did he tell you that I was buying his house?
说了啊 Yeah.
那挺好的 你最近怎么样? So, this is good, how's everything going?
都 都挺不错的 不好说 我搬了这个工作室... Things are, you know, things are good. I don't know, l've got this set up...
做导演 试着制作节目 and did some directing and trying to produce some stuff.
坦白说 做演员现在有点儿困难了 You know, the acting thing is, frankly, coming a little hard.
我想回去做电视节目 看起来不错 I'd love to go back to TV, that seems good.
但是我摆脱不掉乔治这个印象 But I can't shake this George thing.
他们都觉得我就是乔治 They all see me as George.
我想说 事情是这样的 你一点也不像乔治啊 I mean, the thing about it is that you're not even close to George.
我一直跟人们说这事儿 I tell this to people all the time.
"你难以想象这家伙是个多棒的演员 "You can't imagine what a great actor this guy is.
"他本人一点儿也不像那个角色" "He is nothing like that character."
-谢谢 - 一点儿也不像 - Thank you. - Nothing.
我知道 我进去跟他们说话... I know, I go in and I talk to them...
我试着去展示出另一面 and, you know, I try to present differently.
但是他们只觉得我是那个笨蛋 But they see the idiot...
是那个蠢货 我也不好说了 they see the schmuck, so, I don't know.
"蠢货"是什么意思?我不明白 What do you mean "schmuck"? I don't get that.
傻蛋 笨蛋 The yutz, the idiot.
-你知道的 -不 坦白说 我不知道 - You know. - No, frankly, I don't know.
你怎么能说他是傻蛋 蠢货 笨蛋呢? How can you say he's a schmuck, a yutz and an idiot?
我不这么看他 我只觉得他有趣 I don't see him that way, l just see him as funny.
当然 我想说 他是挺有趣的 I mean, of course, it was funny.
但他是那种很傻的替罪羊角色 But he was the fall guy, the jackass role.
这就是那种从来没能交往过女孩的角色... You know, this is the guy that never got the girl...
他终于得到那女孩了 却把她杀死了... he finally gets the girl and he kills her...
还是用信封 真不知道他想要什么 with the envelope. Doesn't know what he wants.
那很有趣呀 并不像傻蛋呀 That's funny, that's not schmucky.
还有什么比去一个女孩的家... What is more jerky or putzy than going to a girl's house...
偷她的答录机磁带更蠢更傻的吗? and stealing a tape out of her answering machine?
我去了一个女孩的家... I went to a girl's house...
拿走了她的答录机磁带 and took a tape out of an answering machine.
拉里 这个角色会从垃圾桶里捡泡芙吃? Larry, he's eating éclairs out of a garbage can?
那又怎么样 我就从垃圾桶里捡过泡芙吃! So what, I ate an éclair out of a garbage can!
还有 自慰比赛 四个人都同意... And, masturbation contests, four people agreeing...
我去参赛了 你知道的 我去了 l was in a contest and you know I was in it.
去参加自慰比赛 我就是个傻蛋了? So, l'm a schmuck for being in a masturbation contest?
那也不是什么特别高尚的事 是吧? It's not an incredibly noble experiment, was it?
我很抱歉你这么厌恶这个角色 I'm sorry that you hate the character so much.
我不是厌恶 是有些厌倦了 I don't hate the character, l'm a little tired of it.
我是说 我是个演员 我可以饰演很多角色 I mean, l'm an actor. I have a range of characters that I can play.
我为什么被降级到只演傻蛋? Why am I relegated to this?
无论我走到哪儿 "嘿 科斯坦萨! Everywhere I go on the street, "Hey, Costanza!
"嘿 傻蛋!" "Hey, jackass!"
我刚想到这个 I just had this idea.
我也不知道 我让你听听我的想法 好吧? I don't know, l'll throw it out at you, okay?
可以写这么一部剧 我的一个想法 好吧? For a series, an idea for a series, okay?
你饰演了一个角色... You played a character...
这个角色基于你现在的经历 based on what you're going through now.
换句话说 你饰演了一个演员... In other words, you play an actor...
这个演员现在很难找到工作... and the actor is having a tough time getting work...
因为他参演了一个超级热门的剧 就像《宋飞正传》 because he was on this mega-hit series, like a Seinfeld kind of series...
现在呢 这个演员 在该剧停播以后... and now this actor, after the series goes off the air...
他再也找不到工作了... he can't get work anymore...
因为他太像那个角色了... because he's so identified with this character...
以至于别人不让他演别的角色 that they won't let him do anything else.
他很痛苦 开始厌恶那个角色 And he becomes embittered and grows to hate the character.
那很有趣啊 That's pretty funny.
你这个混蛋 那好极了 You son of a bitch, that's pretty damn good.
好吧 就这么演吧 来啊 开工 你想吗? All right, let's do it. Come on, let's go, you wanna do it?
我倒是挺想的 I'd like to.
实际上 我在工作呢 I'm actually working.
你在忙别的 其他节目 还是什么? You working on another thing, another show or something?
我在卖车 I'm selling cars.
周一开始 I start on Monday.
你好? Hello?
-拜 -拜 - Bye. - Bye.
咱们新房见 See you in the new house.
-好啊 -祝我好运 - Okay. - Wish me luck.
祝你好运哦 Good luck.
还有别的事儿吗? Anything else you have?
如果我们谈到价格了 就来找你 If l'm closing in on something, price, always come to you.
你必须得过来跟我说 You really do have to come back and talk to me.
-好的 -开心点儿哦 - Okay. - Just have fun.
-好的 谢谢 -丰田很畅销的 - All right, thank you. - The cars sell themselves.
午餐时候见 I'll see you at lunch.
-嗨 我是拉里 -拉里 阿奇 - Hi, l'm Larry. - Larry, Archie.
你猜啥？ 我老婆叫维罗妮卡 You know what? My wife's name is Veronica.
维罗妮卡(Veronica)：与阿奇为同一漫画的人物
-我听说过这款凯美瑞 -这款很棒的 顶级的 - So, this is the Camry I heard about? - This is the big boy, the top of the line.
这款好到不能再好了 This is as good as it gets.
你知道吗 你听说过"雷克萨斯" You know, you hear "Lexus."
我们没听过"凯美瑞" 但这款才是你应该听说过的 We don't hear "Camry," but that's what you should be hearing.
告诉我 引擎里都有什么? Tell me, what's in the engine here?
里面有什么? What's in it?
很大的东西 大的电池 疯狂的活塞 Big stuff, big charging, crazy pistons, nutty pistons.
-是双凸轮轴吗? -对 双凸轮轴 - Is it twin cam? - Yeah, twin cam.
-别的颜色呢... -这他妈就是艺术品 - What other colors... - This is a fucking work of art.
-你叫什么? -雪莉 - What's your name? - Shirley.
-雪莉 我妈妈也叫这个 -我很喜欢可倾斜方向盘 - Shirley, that's my mother's name. - Tilt-wheel steering, which I really like.
这车有吗?是标配吗? Does this car have that? Is it standard?
你知道吗 你不用在这车里倾斜 You know, you don't have the need to tilt in this car.
我就从来不斜着开车 I've never had a tilting need.
我老婆管这车叫皮皮 "要开皮皮吗?" My wife calls it Pepe. "Are we taking Pepe?"
因为我们有两辆车 'Cause we have two cars.
一加仑汽油的里程呢? What kind of gas mileage am I going to get?
-52英里 -城市里能开52英里 - 52. - 52 in the city.
当然 要看什么城市 德卢斯是个城市 算是个城市... Depending on the city, of course. Duluth is a city, it's considered a city...
但是它没有布鲁克林这样的城市大 but it's not as big as Brooklyn or whatever.
好吧 Okay.
那是我哥哥的名字 That's my brother's name.
-真的? -对啊 - Really? - Yeah.
轴距是什么呢? What's the wheel base?
我老婆看重牢固的汽车 My wife is concerned about a car being solid.
底盘很厚 很厚的 It's a thick base, it's a thick wheel base.
我听说这种SUV I heard that these SUVs...
有时候很容易翻车 that they sometimes they roll over rather easily.
翻车 你开玩笑的吧?看看这个 Roll over, are you kidding? Look at this thing.
上帝啊 Jesus Christ.
戴纳 Dana.
戴纳 这是我的中名 拉里戴纳大卫 Dana, that's my middle name, Larry Dana David.
我看这是一辆GT I notice this is a GT...
宣传册写着还有一种车型叫GTS and the brochure says there's a model called the GTS.
GT和GTS区别是什么? What is the difference between the GT and the GTS?
好吧 GTS是指"安全极致保障" Okay, the GTS is "guaranteed tremendous safety."
那么 没有"S" 就只是"极致保障" So, without the "S," it's just "guaranteed tremendous."
-你好吗? -不错 - How you doing? - Fine.
嗨 伙计们需要帮助吗? Hi, can I help you folks?
-埃费昂 -埃费昂 - Apheon. - Apheon.
那是我继兄的名字 埃费昂 That's my step-brother's name, Apheon.
可能是找我的 等一下 That might be for me, one second.
不是 好了 No, okay.
我想再了解一下这辆车 I want to find out more about the car.
我想看看它的特色 我们就可以协商一下了 I want to see the features so we can negotiate...
别装的好像... Don't be acting like...
你要把一堆东西放车后面 you going to put a whole bunch of stuff back here.
-我喜欢这辆 -你要这么大一辆车干嘛? - I like it. - What you need a big car for?
-我不是要...我是喜欢 -好吧 请让我们单独聊一下 - I don't need to... I like this car. - Okay, could you excuse us for one second?
你他妈这是干嘛呢?你在这捣乱呢 What the hell are you doing over here? You're fucking up my shit.
你干嘛这么坚持... Why you pushing hard to get this...
因为她喜欢这辆车 她想开开心心地坐上它 Because she likes the car, she wants to be happy in it.
如果她把车开出展厅 可能发现自己根本就支付不起 Maybe she won't be able to afford the car if she takes it off the lot.
这里还有别人能帮我介绍一下车吗? Is there somebody else who could help me with this car?
听着 先生 我很抱歉 不过谢谢你 Look, sir, l'm sorry, thank you.
我今天真的不想买 好吗? I'm really not interested in buying today, okay?
什么?你在干嘛?雪莉? What? What are you doing? Shirley?
-看过《宋飞正传》吗? -看过 - Ever seen the Seinfeld show? - Yeah.
我是那部剧的出品人之一 I'm the co-creator of the show.
不 这是真的 No, it's true.
求你了 买一辆吧 求你了? Please, buy one, please?
你会卖出去很多的 你是个不错的汽车销售员 You'll sell a lot of them, you're a good salesman.
谢丽儿? Cheryl?
嗨 Hi.
回到新家 感觉怪怪的吗? Isn't this weird, coming home to your new house?
对啊 嗨 Yeah, hi.
-嗯 今天过得怎么样? -非常好啊 - So, how did it go today? - Pretty good.
-真的? -对啊 - Really? - Yeah.
你卖出了很多车? Did you sell a lot of cars?
你知道吗 这生意不是这么做的 You know, that's not how the business works.
你知道吗 不是简简单单就卖了 You know, you don't just sell them.
顾客们 他们也有所考虑 他们还 你知道吗... People, they think about it and they're, you know...
-你再回去找他们 还有... -你兴奋劲儿过了吧? - you get back in touch with them and... - Are you over it now?
-这是什么意思? -就卖车这件事 - What does that mean? - The whole car-selling thing.
没有 刚一天我没有打算辞职 你知道吗... No, l'm not going to quit just after one day, you know...
我想把它做好 我想... l want to do it right. I want to...
我想给他们看看我可以的 l want to show them I can do it.
-好吧 -但是 我得跟你说 这真累人 - Okay. - But, l'll tell you, it's exhausting.
你还说呢 我一整天都在收拾行李 Tell me, I have been unpacking all day.
房子看起来和之前不一样了 House seems different than it did the other day.
对啊 肯定是不一样了 Yeah, it's definitely different.
感觉很奇怪 仅此而已 It feels strange, that's all.
可能等我们把东西都挂起来... Maybe after we hang everything up...
收拾好行李会好点儿 and finish unpacking.
可能吧 我也不知道 Maybe, I don't know.
哪儿来的声音? What's that noise?
你听见声音了吗? Do you hear a noise?
嗯 Yeah.
那是什么? What is it?
可能只是房子的声音或是别的什么 It's probably just a house sound or something.
房子的声音? A house sound?
-对啊 -什么叫房子的声音? - Yeah. - What's a house sound?
-你知道吗 房子自己发出的声音? -房子会发出声音? - You know, noises that a house makes? - Houses make noises?
-管道声儿啊 或是房子在向地下沉 -什么?向下沉? - Plumbing, or it's settling. - What? Settling?
有这声儿我睡不着 I can't sleep with that.
你会习惯的 无视它就好了 You'll get used to it, just ignore it.
我们上一个房子没有这声音 Our last house didn't make any sounds.
不 也有的 你会习惯这儿的 Yes, it did, you'll get used to this.
我不知道 这是从某个地方发出来的 I don't know, this is coming from somewhere.
有这声音我一晚上都睡不着 明早需要精神点儿呢 I'm going to be up all night with this thing. Gotta be fresh in the morning.
都跟你说了我不相信那个施耐德 Told you I didn't trust that Schneider.
他没有提过房子的声音 He didn't say anything about a house sound.
你就像是在那儿开着公交车 It's like you're driving a bus up there.
-对啊 俯视着车流 -你不嫉妒公交车司机吗? - Yeah, looking over the traffic. - Didn't you envy bus drivers?
握着那样巨大的圆形方向盘 你知道的 With the big, round steering wheel like that, you know.
让你...会给你多一份自信 Makes you, gives you a little ego boost.
-俯瞰着车流 -对 没错 - Oversee the traffic. - Yeah, that's right.
你会有很好视野 You've got a great view.
-你知道吗?我准备买了 -没开玩笑吧 - You know what? I think l'm ready to buy. - No kidding.
-没有 -太好啦 - Yeah. - Great.
给我准备一辆有木纹的 我们今天就交易 You get the wood grain, we might do this today.
我们有木条纹的 选个木条纹有什么难的? We could get some wood grain. What's so hard about getting wood grain?
-木 -木条纹不会阻碍我们的.... - Wood. - Wood grain is not going to stop us from...
-这话我爱听 -这是个玩笑 对吧? - That's what I like to hear. - This is a joke, right?
你可以让我们聊会儿吗?我正跟别人说话呢 Could you please excuse us for a minute? I'm talking to somebody.
-这是个恶作剧 对吧? -恶作剧?不好意思 - This is a practical joke, right? - A practical joke? I'm sorry.
你能让我们聊会儿吗? Would please excuse us for a second?
我正跟别人说话呢 我会出去找你的 I'm talking to somebody. I'll meet you outside.
-谁出去? -您 出去等会儿 好吗? - Excuse who? - Excuse me, just wait outside, okay?
出去 出去 好吗? Go outside, go outside, okay?
我在招待顾客 你能看见我这儿有人吧? I'm with a customer, you see l'm with somebody?
你在招待顾客 卖车... You're with a customer, selling cars...
-先生! -我下次再来吧 - Sir! - I'll come back another time.
-让他走吧 -你让我丢掉了一个顾客 - Forget him. - You just cost me a customer.
你刚才说什么? What did you just say?
-你让我丢掉了一个顾客 -我让你丢掉... - You cost me a customer. - I cost you...
-我都搞定了! -你怎么会有顾客呢? - I had him! - How can you have a customer?
我正准备带他去经理办公室呢 I was about to take him to the manager's office.
威利·洛曼(Willy Loman)：戏剧《推销员之死》的男主角
你在演该死的威利·洛曼吗?你在这儿干嘛? What are you, fucking Willy Loman? What are you doing here?
-我在这儿做业务! -我从杰夫办公室过来的 - I'm doing business here! - I came from Jeff's office.
他跟我说你在这儿卖车 我觉得一定是开玩笑 He tells me you're here selling cars, which I say has gotta be a joke.
但是我来这儿是因为 你跟他说我很难伺候? But l'm here because you told him l'm high maintenance?
他现在是我的经纪人了 He's my manager now.
要是他去某个工作室 比如Palm或Spago What if he goes to a studio, to the Palm or Spago...
告诉人们"我爱理查德 但是他难伺候" 怎么办? tells people, "l love Richard but he's high maintenance"?
如果他这么做了呢? And what if he does?
我花了七年才让生活走上正轨... I spent seven years getting my life together...
现在他们又会认为我是一个该死的色情狂 酒鬼 and now they can think l'm a fucking, you know, sex maniac or drinking again.
哦不 你就没机会翻拍《乱世忠魂》了 No, you won't get the remake of From Here To Eternity.
我以为我才有不可告人的秘密?你这究竟是在干嘛? I thought I had dark secrets? What the hell is this about?
-这不是不可告人的秘密 -拉里大卫在卖车不是个秘密? - It's not a dark secret. - Larry David selling cars is not a secret?
这是山羊绒毛衣吗?有个人跟你穿的一样 Is that a cashmere sweater? This guy had the same one.
-当然是山羊绒毛衣 -是100%山羊绒吗? - Of course it's a cashmere sweater. - Is that 100% cashmere?
-你问这个干嘛? -这是100%山羊绒吗? - What are you doing here? - Is that 100% cashmere?
-什么啊 你不相信我吗? -你介意我看看标签吗? - What, you don't believe me? - Would you mind if I check the label?
我说话你信不过吗? My word's not good enough for you?
-让我看一下 -不行 - Let me just take a look. - No.
-我不喜欢让别人碰我 -我不碰你 - I don't like people touching me. - I won't touch you.
停 我想让你给杰夫打电话... Stop it. I want you to call Jeff...
你给他打电话 告诉他我不难伺候 You call Jeff and tell him l'm not high maintenance.
这到底发生了什么? What the hell is going on here?
够了 拉里 你被解雇了 That's it, Larry, you're fired.
-开心了? -上帝啊 - Happy? - Christ.
-我谈成了一笔 -我替你高兴 拉里 - I had that sale. - I'm happy for you, Larry.
-我跟一个人谈成了 -你被解雇了 - I had that guy. - You're fired.
我拿下他了 我真希望你能知道 太完美了 I locked him up and I wish you could have heard it. It was beautiful.
走吧 Leave.
-嗨 -哈喽! - Hi. - Hello!
-怎么这么早就回来了? -我被解雇了 - What are you doing home so early? - I got fired.
-真的? -我被炒了! - You did? - I got the boot!
-为什么被解雇了? -我被赶出来了 - Why'd you get fired? - I got 86ed.
他正在检查房子的声音 He's checking for the house sound.
-对 嗨 我是吉姆 -嗨 我是拉里 - Yeah, hi, l'm Jim. - Hi, l'm Larry.
我整个房子都查了... I've checked all over the house...
我没有发现你说的房子的声音 and I can't find the house sound that you were talking about.
-告诉他那声音像什么 拉里 -就像镜头的伸缩声 - Tell him what it sounds like again, Larry. - It's like a camera whirring.
-你确定不是海的声音吗? -不是 我知道海的声音 - You sure it's not the ocean? - It's not the ocean, I know the ocean.
抱歉 我没有找到 Sorry, I just haven't found anything.
晚上十点之后你才能听得清楚 You don't really hear it very well until after 10:00 at night.
当我们上床后 我才听到声音 When we're in bed, that's when I hear it.
白天我听不到 今晚你能过来吗? I don't hear it during the day. Can you come back tonight?
等一下 什么? Wait, what?
嗯 可以 我只是得打个电话 请个保姆看孩子 Yeah, I could, l just have to call and get a sitter.
-太棒了 -嗯 如果不方便的话.... - Great. - Yeah, if it's trouble...
有啥不方便 他刚说了 他要打电话请保姆 It's no trouble. He just says he has to call and get a sitter.
-没问题的 我可以的 -我觉得很合理 - That's no problem, I can just do that. - It makes perfect sense to me.
我们还是讨论一下 再告诉你 好吗? Why don't we discuss this and we will let you know, okay?
好的 Okay.
我想明天给杰森亚历山大打个电话 I think l'm going to call Jason Alexander tomorrow.
真的?那太好了 You are? That is good news.
-你喜欢? -嗯 - You like that? - Yeah.
-我们交流下那部戏 然后... -那太好了 - We'll go over the show, and... - That's so good.
也许能推给某个电视台什么的 Maybe pitch it to some networks or something.
为什么不呢?瞧瞧你 重整旗鼓啊 Why not? Look at you, back in the saddle.
-我要不现在打给他吧 -你不能现在打 都10点45分了 - Maybe l'll call him right now. - You can't call him now, it's 10:45.
超过截止时间45分钟了 It's 45 minutes past the cutoff.
那又怎么样?如果有好消息 你有1小时的特许时间 So what? You get like an hour dispensation for good news.
-谁告诉你的? -谁告诉我的?这是常识 - Who told you that? - Who told me that? It's common knowledge.
-你说什么呢? -那是常识吗? - What are you saying? - That's common knowledge?
大家都知道 Everybody knows that.
如果有人去世了或者宝宝出生怎么办呢?整晚都能打电话 What happens with deaths and babies? You go all night.
-这又不是生宝宝 -这也是好消息呀 - This isn't a baby. - It's still good news.
安静! Quiet!
抱歉! Sorry!
这是可以等到明早再说的消息 It's news that can wait till the morning.
闭嘴吧 他正在那儿努力工作呢 Shut up, he's trying to work in there.
翻译:康静超 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net